It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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