look no pants
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
