omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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