so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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