Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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