can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
