Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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