i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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