I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
