When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
