what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just want nice things and good sex
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize