Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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