we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
