M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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