So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
