Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
