so that wasnt chicken after all
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What drink are we having for lunch?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
