I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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