So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
