How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
