Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
