She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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