he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
