doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
