hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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