so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
