Already got asked if we're dating
false alarm. still invincible.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
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So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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