i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
