Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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