I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
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Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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