You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
