Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
