...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize