It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
