arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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