winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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