'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize