I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
