i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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