Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
