The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
