Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
