I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
God, you're like boner-b-gone
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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