it wasn't lemon gatorade
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize