This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
