How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
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i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
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I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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