I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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