I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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