im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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