I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
