KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
