yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
