so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
