So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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