Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
