dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
