Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
