Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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