During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
