I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
